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2004-07-11 - 11:44 p.m. dad got the cancer he couldn't out run it and i felt so bad that i couldn't level with him i feel guilty for feeling good i would've cried more if i could i feel bad for ever being happy without him experiencing it it was hard to see him struggle just for a smile the pain he felt was more then double i was fortunate to be his child he made me feel so real when he could've made me feel like a third wheel my mom is not the same i feel bad for wanting her to let go of her pain when i'm hurting i expect them to understand it's all about learning from here on out, i'll try to touch everything with a humble hand stephanie came home she had been through so much and she was still so perfectly sweet theres a million different ways she leaves me touched she came home in pain i felt so bad to be pain free she's the sunshine to my rain she's the only place i want to be i feel bad not having a dad stephanie makes me feel not so sad i feel bad that some of you never had what we have she makes me feel not so bad to feel glad i'm not gloating, i'm glowing i'm not psychic, or all knowing i just feel like i have all the love in the world all from one girl... i could've only got this from one girl-- You
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